How to know when a loved one is near

How to know when your loved one is nearby

One of the most common things I am asked, is “how do I know they are near”, what are their signs? This is a normal part of grief – completely understandable. I want to outline a technique that you can use to get in touch, and know when your person is with you.

Firstly, get quiet. Get still. Very, very quiet and still. Clear all distractions, turn off your phone, get comfortable. For me, a seated position in an arm chair is best, but I know many people who prefer to lie down, or sit on the floor, or even in a bathtub. I am also partial to an outdoor setting – nature is an amazing healer.

Try to avoid alcohol, drugs, caffeine if you can. Start to breathe. 3 deep breaths, in and out. Hold each breath for a few seconds. Clear your energy, your pathways, get quiet and still.

Once you feel like you are clear, calm still, call your person’s name. You can do this out loud, or in your head, however you are comfortable. They hear you either way. Now pay attention to your body. You are looking for a physical sensation;  heat, tingling, warmth, touch. For example, my father makes my sinus tingle. My aunt pats my hair. My sister makes my scalp itch. There will be a sensation that you feel within your body. This is your “sign”.

You may also experience audio (sound) or olfactory (smell) signs depending on your person. Often, fragrances that are associated with the particular person come through – a floral perfume, the smell of baking etc. My dog, has been known to send me a “wet dog” smell to let me know she’s around.

You may need to do this several times, in order to get a clear sign. Just be careful around repetition – the objective is for you to know they’re around, it can take time to become clear to you. No more than twice a day on this one – in case you confuse yourself or create doubt for yourself.

Once you have your sign, you will always know when your person is with you. Sometimes its when you call them, or at special times, places or events.  Sometimes, it’s completely random. My father has been known to show up when I’m scanning the dog food aisle at the supermarket. Just dropping in for a quick “hello”.

Whilst this is a reliable technique, bear in mind that grief is heavy. It may be too much in the early days of your loss, and if this is the case, just put it away for a little while and try again later. I hope this has been of help to you, and of course, I’m always available for you, to help you through this time in your life.