From my study and observations in life, there are two general paths to enlightenment: Joy and Trauma. I ‘ve yet to meet anyone who skipped down the Joy path. I’m sure they exist, but I’m also sure they don’t need me to help them. They’re probably not hanging out in bars either. The Trauma path is a common one for us mere humans and often includes illness, depression, divorce, death, bankruptcy, abuse, abandonment etc. Through this pathway we are basically forced to address our calling and, until we reach that point where our knees hit the floor and we surrender our ego, we struggle.
During our Trauma and Seeking phase, this is one I hear very often, and I thought it myself. The short answer is, why not me? Am I so special that I get to bypass life? Nope. Am I so insignificant that this is above me? Nope. If you dig deep inside, I think you’ll find you asked for this. At some point in time, some place in your life, you wished for more. You recognised that you were out of alignment, and wanted it back. You missed yourself, your core being, your loving life that is your natural state, and you wanted it back. Why you? Because you deserve it, and it’s worth it.
Don’t get me wrong – the early stages of the path, suck. They really do. For some people, they suck for a really, really long time. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. It’s not an oncoming train . Trust me, there is a way through this, but it takes some work. Or no work at all, depending upon how you look at it.
The struggle you’re feeling is based within a fearful battle with your ego. You want answers. With details. Now. You want time frames, reasons and a clear guarantee that everything is going to be OK. All perfectly normal…..all perfectly human and based in fear.
So you’ve done this for a while. You know what this feels like. No doubt, you’re sick of the anxious overthinking. So just for today, try one thing. Try absolute surrender on for size and see how it feels. If you can’t do it for a day, try in for an hour. Half an hour. Whatever you can manage.
Throw your hands in the air, knees to the grounds – and just let it go. All of it. See how that feels for you. It may be a huge relief at first. It may be the first calm you’ve felt in years. It will probably be followed by fear again. That’s ok. It’s a first step. Congratulations, that was a huge step forward!